Time for a New Next

In the past few weeks, I’ve made an enormous change, both within myself and how I present myself to the world. It came with its own bit of aftermath.

In almost an instant (not literally, but you know what I mean), I went from being someone whose only “job” was to figure out what she wants, to being someone who now has to Make It Happen.

It’s been challenging – slight understatment – to avoid falling into the black hole of Overwhelm.

There was a part of me that knew this challenge would be waiting for me on the other side of declaring my dream. That part of me wanted to protect myself from the frustration of having too much to do with too little time.

I know it will be an ongoing process. Especially while I’m still working full-time for the Man.

Let’s face it – some days are harder than others. Last week was actually pretty awful.

I’m trying to keep my priorities in order – mainly that means:

  1. Doing as little as possible to jeopardize my day job, yet still maintain my sanity.

    • Fine line, there! The less said, the better, probably.
  2. Not letting my self-care fall by the wayside.

    • Dance of Shiva and meditation are two really important things that helped get me here, and it would be silly to skip them under the guise of needing more time.
  3. Nurturing this ittybiz by spending as much time as possible on the parts that energize me, so I have “energetic reserves” for when the other mundane crap gets me down.

    • Working with clients is a lot more fun than trying to hammer out a new About page right now, so client sessions will come first.
  4. Taking all of this as slowly as I need to, so that I don’t fall into a trap of creating resistance by pushing myself too hard.

    • This is probably the hardest one and makes me all whiny: “But there’s so much I want to dooooooo!”
  5. Trying my best to enjoy the ride and be present with this whole process.

    • Okay, so maybe this one’s the hardest. Brings up lots of issues I have with time – or lack thereof – and the urge to get There when there is no There, only Here. And a pesky tendency to argue with reality.

I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a small part of me that misses that place of not knowing what I want to do.

It meant always knowing what the focus of my meditation would be. And what books to read. And not having to wonder “what should I do next?” because it was the same next as before: figure out what you want to do.

But I was there long enough.

Now it’s time for a new Next and learning how to find the comfortable place within the chaos and the questions and changes of starting a business.

Bring it on.

10 thoughts on “Time for a New Next

  1. Eileen

    I’ll echo–BRING IT ON!!!

    Also, I’d just like to point out, for the record…ummm, when did you even start this blog? Four months ago? And you didn’t even know then what you wanted to do (or maybe you did but you didn’t quite wanna say it), and now you’re WORKING WITH CLIENTS?! From where I’m sitting you are seriously, very speedily, Making It Happen.

    But I know the frustration when a day job sits in the way of where you want to be. So I feel for ya. Ugh. Time to slack off and surf the internet all day and work on your own projects while barely scraping by (oops! did I say that??? oh no, I don’t recommend that at all, that was *my* strategy and led to way too much guilt and shame, so I think your plan sounds infinitely more sane!)

    Eileen’s last blog post..Kansas

  2. James | Dancing Geek

    Yes, yes, yes! I am so there with you right now!

    I’ve ended up having great ideas about all the stuff I could do and then realising that I’m still only able to squeeze the tiniest of little steps out of myself at the moment. Tiny, tiny steps. I’m hoping that it’s the start of a snowball, that momentum will kick in and build it into something awesome but for now I’m just trying not to get frustrated and/or terrified! :)

    Enjoy the ride? That’s definitely the hardest one, in any situation. I’m constantly forgetting that one.

    James | Dancing Geek’s last blog post..Living in the past

  3. Goddess Leonie | GoddessGuidebook.com

    This is SUCH a wonderful post Victoria. Gosh you have such a wonderful voice, verve, energy and sensitivity when you write. I’m so on the boat of knowing-the-dream-and-making-it-happen part. We can make mango frappes and keep each other company :)

    Goddess Leonie | GoddessGuidebook.com’s last blog post..Goddess Allsorts

  4. Michelle Russell

    Victoria, I agree–numbers 4 and 5 are definitely the hardest! I know it’s about patience with the process, but most of the time I don’t want to be present with it all–I want all my to-dos to be past! When it comes to figuring out new things, I sometimes wish for those modules in The Matrix movie…Neo plugged himself into the computer, uploaded a program–and suddenly knew kung fu.

    Good for you for taking on a new “next” and being so clear about the process–that will help you a lot! And it will help us when you show us how it’s done. ;o)

    Michelle Russell’s last blog post..Happy Accidents

  5. Barbara Martin

    WOW! Process is having the patience to take the next right step and then the next one and then the next one. It’s letting the stinkin’ hare take a hike and then the tortoise wins. But process seems so slooooow, baby steps and microsteps and the occasional hop or leap. And then you look back and see how far you’ve moved ahead and think, oh wow! It’s happening!

    Barbara Martin’s last blog post..Exercise Improves Creativity

    1. Victoria

      @Heidi – I love hearing your cheers! Thank you!

      @Grace – Exactly! For me “allowing” is on my list as #4 (taking it slow). It can be tough to find that balance of allowing vs. taking action.

      @Eileen – Ah yes, you were there when my blog was born oh so long ago. LOL. You just caught me in one of my patterns (“must do it all perfectly and right away and I’m not going to stop to appreciate what I’ve already accomplished”). Thank you for reminding me about my own progress.

      @James – Glad I have company! We’ll hang in there and take our tiny steps together. :-)

      @Goddess Leonie – Mmmm…hanging out while drinking mango frappes. That sounds divine!

      @Michelle – Yes! Matrix modules! There are definitely times when I long to have that option, but I try to remind myself that the process *can* be fun when I let it. Often easier said than done.

  6. Hiro Boga

    Seems to me you’ve found your Right Work, declared your intention to do it, and are now finding your Right Way to make it flow for you–all in a very short period of time. :-)

    I love your writing voice, Victoria. Thanks for sharing your process with us. I’m cheering you on, and walking through this with you.

    This is probably the hardest stretch, when you’re trying to grow your business around a day job. But your baby biz will grow to support you, and things will get easier.

    Thanks for your gentle wisdom, in this post: to keep things simple, joyful, and in alignment with your priorities.

    Hiro Boga’s last blog post..Filling the well of your heart . . .

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