In the past few weeks, I’ve made an enormous change, both within myself and how I present myself to the world. It came with its own bit of aftermath.
In almost an instant (not literally, but you know what I mean), I went from being someone whose only “job” was to figure out what she wants, to being someone who now has to Make It Happen.
It’s been challenging – slight understatment – to avoid falling into the black hole of Overwhelm.
There was a part of me that knew this challenge would be waiting for me on the other side of declaring my dream. That part of me wanted to protect myself from the frustration of having too much to do with too little time.
I know it will be an ongoing process. Especially while I’m still working full-time for the Man.
Let’s face it – some days are harder than others. Last week was actually pretty awful.
I’m trying to keep my priorities in order – mainly that means:
- Doing as little as possible to jeopardize my day job, yet still maintain my sanity.
- Fine line, there! The less said, the better, probably.
- Not letting my self-care fall by the wayside.
- Dance of Shiva and meditation are two really important things that helped get me here, and it would be silly to skip them under the guise of needing more time.
- Nurturing this ittybiz by spending as much time as possible on the parts that energize me, so I have “energetic reserves” for when the other mundane crap gets me down.
- Working with clients is a lot more fun than trying to hammer out a new About page right now, so client sessions will come first.
- Taking all of this as slowly as I need to, so that I don’t fall into a trap of creating resistance by pushing myself too hard.
- This is probably the hardest one and makes me all whiny: “But there’s so much I want to dooooooo!”
- Trying my best to enjoy the ride and be present with this whole process.
- Okay, so maybe this one’s the hardest. Brings up lots of issues I have with time – or lack thereof – and the urge to get There when there is no There, only Here. And a pesky tendency to argue with reality.
I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a small part of me that misses that place of not knowing what I want to do.
It meant always knowing what the focus of my meditation would be. And what books to read. And not having to wonder “what should I do next?” because it was the same next as before: figure out what you want to do.
But I was there long enough.
Now it’s time for a new Next and learning how to find the comfortable place within the chaos and the questions and changes of starting a business.
Bring it on.