@kate – You are *definitely* not alone!

THANK GOODNESS!!

that’s a lot of guilt i could be putting towards eating too many brownies! (rationalization: i made them with whole wheat flour and organic sugar and eggs!)

thank you so much for sharing – the next time i finally pull my act together at 11pm and work on my own stuff until 2am instead of during the early evening allow myself to go to bed on time (where’s the fun in that?) i will know i am not alone!

that said – it’s good to know there are good people to ‘read’ while Waiting!
kate´s last blog ..Take a picture – it will last longer!

I am so with you on “The Waiting” thing. On some level, I think I am waiting for the end of the day job. Except there are things I could (and should) be doing now. And I want to do them. But I am finding all these reasons why I can’t .. or get distracted by blog-reading or .. and then it gets that little gremlin going who says “clearly you are not cut out for self-employment – or you would be doing these things”. Argh.

And yes, your sharing is very helpful! I love reading your posts. :)
elizabeth´s last blog ..happy merry

@Amna – Ah yes…that elusive “switch” that will put us in productive business owner mode. I keep looking for it but not finding it. And I’m betting it’s some of both – needing to detox from work *and* some overwhelm from all the new stuff you’re trying to do. The more I move through this transition, the more I see how much I underestimated how big it was!

@Maya – Thank you! That is just beautiful. I’ll have to spend some time observing how I “take in” (or don’t take in) the positive feedback from people – great point!

@Shawna – The self-trust thing is especially hard when it’s for stuff like writing, where there’s no way to know if it’s “right” or not. And everybody has a different opinion about it. At least that’s how it is for me. Sometimes I really like the black-and-white answers.

@Amy – Nope! Definitely not alone in the Waiting and the avoiding of the thing we really want to be doing. And I’ll probably give the Pomodoro Technique another try at some point. I suspect my struggle with time management is more because I’m still in this massive transition, as opposed to not having found the right way to go about managing my time.

What I was *going* to say was that the Pomodoro technique sounds pretty cool and I’d like to give it a try. I recently heard that the human brain can’t concentrate well for longer than 26 minutes at a time and I have been trying to frame my work in smaller chunks of time. It hasn’t worked that well before, but it might soon. :)

The Waiting. UGH. That’s what I’ve been struggling with (against?) for weeks now. Now that I’ve nailed down what I want to do, with whom, where, how, I can’t do anything else! I should be blogging, I should be writing, I should be teaching. But instead I bounce between Twitter, Plurk, and Gmail for hours on end, feeling miserable (and yes, weepy). Gotta do something about it.

At least we’re not alone, right? :)

“And it triggers a little pattern I have that I call the Waiting.

Waiting for something to happen when there are things I could be doing. Approaching everything passively or reactively. Obsessively checking email and Twitter and my site stats.

Intellectually, I know I’m helping people. And inspiring them, even, just by sharing my own process. Yet I’ve spent much of the last few weeks convinced I’m not doing anything worthwhile.

And getting downright mopey about it, and wishing someone would fix it for me.”

I think this officially makes me a Waiter. I get it. I am also aware of it. Trying to practice observing and remembering that it will shift – my perspective, my energy, etc. The remembering is hard sometimes even when it is so obvious (and I am capable). Yes…trying to be gentle with me. Trying to be OK with knowing I am capable but that it is just as OK to not remember when I really don’t want to. Hope these words are making sense.

I relate to the waiting, the obsessiveness of checking email or twitter, wanting someone else to fix it, and getting mopey (including crying) about it all. Feeling of overwhelmedness.

I, also, am reminded by clients and friends that sharing my process really does make a difference and that my writing and my blog inspires others, comforts others….BUT that means that I need to TAKE THAT IN. And I do. In certain moments. In bits and pieces – sometimes bigger chunks and sometimes I can’t take it in at all.

Anyway, my point here is to mainly say a big THANK YOU and to share how much I relate to your process and coping strategies.

I also read your post from a year ago – and I also knit. I will also carve out time and then not knit. Can relate. I also can relate to not having enough on my fun-to-do list.

Ok…this is my longest comment ever. Thank you for reading and allowing me to share. You really DO inspire me and move me – job done!

Maya
Maya Zaido (@animalswisdom)´s last blog ..Relationships…Challenging…No…Really?!

It’s troubling because it leads us outward for gratification. I try to be cognizant of that.

Happy New Year, Victoria!
Lydia, Clueless Crafter´s last blog ..Who Your Duppy?

I want to acknowledge you for making the leap. It’s a Really Big Deal, and there is only growth from here. Wishing both of us patience and progress in 2010, in whichever ways work best!