Time for another at-irregular-intervals update on what’s been happening since I quit my job.
Why don’t I pick an interval and stick to it? Because then I would have to, you know, stick to it. Which means I would instantly stop updating because I would feel flaky for not being able to stick to my chosen interval.
Body stuff update
Maybe because it was freezing when I was in Sacramento, or maybe because it’s more humid there than here in Phoenix, I coughed a lot when I was there.
It wasn’t until a couple days after I came home that I Finally. Stopped. Coughing. I seriously thought it would never end.
That’s over, but there are some other weirdnesses that I won’t describe here.
One thing that has been pretty interesting is that ever since the crick I got a few weeks ago, my back has been feeling really good. Yeah, I still get sore, but that seems reasonable considering the number of hours every day that I sit in front of the computer.
Time management experiments
I’ve been craving some form of structure for my days, because the flailing is getting a little old.
I’m embarking on some experiments to find things that work for me, but almost instantly I’m finding myself rebelling against the structure. Or at least against the “rules” of the structure, which means the structure pretty much falls apart.
I’m okay with that, because despite the lack of structure, I am making progress on some business-y things. For now, I’m just going to chalk it up to part of the de-institutionalization process.
By “fun patterns,” I don’t mean patterns that are fun. I mean the patterns I have around fun.
As in, I don’t know how to have it.
I can understand why – it was never a priority.
When I was in school, getting straight A’s was the priority, and extra-curriculars were something I resented because they took time away from getting good grades. (Want a fun read? Fabeku wrote a great post about the whole report card/perfectionism thing.)
Then when I was working full-time at jobs that were sucking my soul dry, I simply didn’t have the energy to think about adopting a hobby.
The few attempts I made at creative pursuits always had this underlying goal to be a source of income. If I determined that I didn’t want to make that hobby my career, I dropped it.
Plus, when I was working full-time and trying to start my business, my free time was devoted to that, and again I didn’t have time to worry about hobbies. Then, especially compared to my job, doing things for my business really did serve as my amusement.
Now, though. Now, this blog and coaching are my full-time career, and I’m starting to notice that I need something “fun” (in quotes because I don’t even know what that means, for me) to do, so that I don’t burn out.
I think there is some sort of big stuck associated with hobbies and fun and creative pursuits. It’s something I’ve suspected for a while, and now it’s confirmed. No wisdom to share, yet.
This coming week-ish
More experimenting with adding structure to my days. Maybe I’ll post separately about that.
Doing some Shiva Nata around my hobby issues, while also gently finding ways to be creative just for fun.
Lots of reflecting about 2009, and also the past 12 months – it’s just a couple weeks until my blog’s first birthday.
Has the reality of this change set in, yet?
Maybe it’s my rebellious side coming out, but I’m growing bored with this rating stuff. Yet, I do think there’s value in checking in with myself in a high-level kind of way.
My main high-level realization this week is that the novelty of full-time coaching has worn off just enough that I do need to have some kind of outlet to demarcate my off-time from my work-time. And I think it’s good that I’m noticing it now, rather than after burn-out sets in.
Oh, fine, I’ll give it a number: 4.5 out of 10. Happy?