My darling readers, I have news.
By the end of this week, I will be joining the ranks of the self-employed.
I am about to become a full-time entrepreneur.
It took me a while to figure out how to share this news with you, because it’s a transition and transitions are complicated. (Maybe I’ll share more about the complexities in another post.)
As complicated as it is, and as scary as it is, I just know that it’s time for me to move forward in this new direction.
When you “should” on yourself to do what weakens (even if you’re good at it) you exhaust your precious life force.
I have been in IT for over 10 years. And I’m damn good at it. But part of why I was continuing in my job was out of a sense of should.
I shouldn’t walk away from this stable career. I should wait until my business is bringing in more income. I should wait until we have a larger emergency fund.
I should wait until fill-in-the-blank.
What I’ve known for a long time – but convinced myself I must be wrong or making it up – is that staying in the job was weakening me.
My life force, or let’s call it creative energy, was being used up. There wasn’t enough left over to give my business and Right People what they need.
That’s what this move is all about.
Giving myself what I need and want.
Having more to give to my Right People.
Creating a life and work that is satisfying and fits me.
But isn’t this risky?
Yes. There is risk in leaving a lucrative career for something new.
Risk of failure.
Risk of losing our financial stability.
Risk of not being able to live the “American Dream” (which is pretty much bullshit anyway).
But, as Hiro so wisely shared with me, there is also risk in staying in my job.
Risk of losing my joy, passion and creativity.
Risk of becoming so depressed I’d give up on my business completely.
Risk of damaging my health by giving in to self-medication as a coping mechanism.
The more I listened to my heart, the harder it became to ignore its desires.
And the harder it became to ignore my heart, the riskier it felt to stay in a job that was taking the best of me and leaving only crumbs. The risks of staying feel far more costly to me than the risks of forging my own path.
Now begins the next adventure. I’m looking forward to seeing where it leads.