Here Comes 2009

The end of another year.

2008 was not easy, but there was lots of good change – I feel like I ushered some stagnation out of my life.

But now that a new year is about to happen, so many people are talking about New Year’s Resolutions.

Am I the only one who hates them? Let’s discuss…

They take me out of the present moment.

The end of the year is when people reflect on what resolutions they accomplished (or didn’t). So that means I’m looking BACK. And if I didn’t meet the goal, I’m also looking AHEAD to try to figure out if I can make it happen next time around.

I am not arguing that this is 100% bad for 100% of people. But I will say that those well-acquainted with me know it’s probably the worst thing for ME to do. I need to get better at just being, not worrying about what is coming or already gone.

I need to get better at being okay right where I am. You know, enjoying the ride instead of worrying so much about reaching the destination.

And I’m willing to bet a lot of money that I am not alone in that.

It’s all too easy to make resolutions based on Shoulds instead of things *I* really want.

I look back on past years’ resolutions and I’ve definitely made the cliché ones like

  • Get in shape
  • Eat right
  • Get organized
  • Stop biting my nails

Do I want those things? Well, yes. But do I really really want them?

I think most people only do what they really truly want to do. So if I’ve not been able to accomplish those goals after years of making those resolutions, what does that say?

I’m also discovering that some of my so-called desires are more like decoys. In other words, as I begin to accomplish something that I truly want, some of the other things I thought were important to me become less so.

I’m starting to write more, and suddenly I’m willing to give up de-cluttering the house if it means I have more time to write.

They create an artificial deadline of 365 days.

This goes right back to that Creative Process thing…just as projects will be born when they’re ready, I think the same holds true for the resolutions we make because most of them are just another type of project.

So what AM I going to do during this transition from 2008 to 2009?

Well, I tend to be torn between acknowledging the New Year as an opportunity to “start fresh” and completely blowing it off.

You know, just treat it like any other day.

One thing I could use more of in my life, though, is gratitude, so I’ll be taking the opportunity to be grateful for 2008.

And maybe I’ll pat myself on the back a bit for some things I’ve accomplished.

Yes, I’ll probably spend a little time thinking about projects I want to work on in the coming months. But I’ll be trying to do that in a light, pressure-free, kind of way.

Unless, of course, Dec 31st turns out to be a really crappy day, in which case I will just drink more champagne.

13 thoughts on “Here Comes 2009

  1. Havi Brooks (and duck)

    “Unless, of course, Dec 31st turns out to be a really crappy day, in which case I will just drink more champagne.”

    This is now my new motto for New Years. Love it. I may have to get it tattooed somewhere.

  2. Annie Blue

    Resolutions frustrate me because it’s like we’re using an arbitrary point of time – the ‘moment’ between two years – to say that *boom* you have to change right here right now and everything will be peachy! We don’t change just like that, and everything is a process, and that’s ok. The Wham-Bam-Thank you M’am approach isn’t usually effective for healthy life changes.

    Having said that, I usually throw a party for a few friends where we hang out and watch movies and drink a little. We glance at a clock instead of staring at a disco ball.

    Enjoy that champagne :)

  3. Crystal

    I’ve spent the last few years “completely blowing it off”. I spend the whole year trying to do all those things. Does anyone really say at the beginning of the year that they are going to lose 100 lbs and then actually DO IT? My issue with New Year’s resolutions is I don’t want to pursue improving myself only once a year. It takes me more than once to get onto the bandwagon anyway! I’m sure it works for some people, but not for me.

    Great read Victoria! and I’m right there with ya on the “I need to get better at being okay right where I am.” Beautifully stated. :)

  4. Maria | Never the Same River Twice

    Victoria – I’m so grateful Havi Brooks tweeted this post! I completely agree that New Year’s resolutions are far too rigid (and riddled with guilt!) to work for most people. I’m a big fan of setting short-term, flexible goals that align with your larger vision for life.

  5. Grace

    Oh, yeah. The best New Year’s resolution I ever made (and the only one I ever kept) was to never make another New Year’s resolution! :)

    Goals don’t work for me either. I set intentions – intentions about how I want to *be*, not what I want to do or have. Those tend to unfold in pretty amazing ways. And whenever a goal sneaks onto the list, it almost always … doesn’t happen.

    Pretty amazing stuff!

  6. Adam Kayce

    Absolutely; if Resolutions worked 100% across the board, then everyone on the planet would be working them. Hard. And, we’d all be thin, rich, and blissful.

    And, if we’re motivated enough for change, sometimes attaching our change initiatives to a date can be helpful. But in my experience, it’s not the start date that matters, it’s the end date. And, like you said, then it just becomes a part of the rest of our goals, projects, etc.

    re: Havi – you’d better post pics of that tattoo, should it ever come to light… :)

  7. Eileen

    Hi Victoria, I found your site though Havi’s tweets. I hate New Years’ Resolutions, mainly because I think they don’t work! Not a big fan of “willpower” as a means to accomplish things. Mark the day, reflect, sure. But I’m not making any “resolutions”. Enjoy that champagne!

  8. Stacie

    Hi Victoria – this is Stacie, one of your Blogging Therapy cohorts, and I’m *loving* your blog and loving that you’ve just gone for it!

    You know, I’ve aways avoided the whole “making resolutions” thing at New Year’s – it has felt (and continues to feel) so contrived to me. But just like you’ve said – there’s still this part of me that wants to take stock of where I’ve been and give a little consideration to where I’d like to be going. In honor of that, I’m (metaphorically) lifting my glass of champagne: Here’s to the non-resolution-lots-of-gratitude-pressure-free-future-envisioning club…and to projects being born when they are ready…

  9. Debra

    Happy New Year! You wrote: “I’m starting to write more, and suddenly I’m willing to give up de-cluttering the house if it means I have more time to write.”

    It’s definitely like that, isn’t it? The more we align with what we really want, the clearer what we really want gets, the more we realize some of the stuff we thought we wanted can just wait…or go away all together! :0)

    As far as resolutions go…I feel they’re highly overrated and cause much undo stress. Intention or Inspired Creation on the other hand really turn me on. I can get excited about these every day, not just for New Year’s. Every day is a New Day… Hey! We could start celebrating it just like that! New Day’s Eve (maybe without the champagne *every* night. Well, that’s none of my business, your choice) would bring awareness to the ending of one cycle and the birth of another. New Day’s Day is every day, shiny, bright, and filled w/spectacular promise and possibility…a whole new day to live an inspired life! …and then it’s New Day’s Eve again. Perfect. Very in the moment, don’t you think? :0)

    To living in inspired creation every day!
    Peace, Love and Harmony… Debra

    PS~I feel an inspired blog post coming on… Must. Go. Write. :0)

  10. Pingback: Happy New Day ~ Living an Inspired Life | Earth Harmony Home

  11. Amy

    “It’s all too easy to make resolutions based on Shoulds instead of things *I* really want.”

    I listened in on a coaching call yesterday and walked away with my new motto:

    Stop ‘should’ing’ on yourself.

    I thought you’d appreciate that. ;)

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