Talking to some friends yesterday, I revealed that I was still having a Very Hard Time.
Yes, there’s still left over stuff from my previous bout of Oof.
But there’s also new stuff. Over the last week or so, I’ve felt a growing sense of Urgency.
Well, I’m sure it’s been there longer than that, but as of the last week, it’s started creeping in to how I talk about my business.
As in, “I hope I can pull this off,” or, “I hoped things would have gotten rolling a bit more by now.”
I even uttered, “Well, I’d decided it was time to give it a shot,” about quitting my job.
Oh dear lord. I’m talking as though I’ve already given up. Or as though I’m trying to defend or rationalize the choices I made.
And on more than one occasion I really have entertained the thought that quitting my job was a mistake.
The point is, when you’re feeling a sense of urgency, it’s kind of hard to hear much of anything else. Which is unfortunate, because I really need to be hearing from my heart and my business right about now.
Today I had the first of what will probably be many conversations with the Urgency. It’s quite worried, and seems to believe homelessness and divorce are in my future if I don’t change course. No wonder it’s screaming in my ear all the time.
That’s the other thing about urgency – it doesn’t listen to reason very well. It doesn’t seem to care that it would take some serious financial setbacks to cause homelessness anytime soon. It only knows how much less per month I’m bringing in compared to my old job.
I’m really hoping that we can find a new way to work together. Ideally before I wind up taking drastic measures.
Either way, I’m ready to get to the other side of this. So I’m making a declaration:
Henceforth (or until I change my mind), the First Law of Shmorianism* states that the things that suck the most are the most likely to help you make money once you’ve gotten through them.
I’m not exactly sure what Shmorianism is (although I know how it looks in the context of planning a project).
And I can’t say with 100% certainty that this Law is True-with-a-capital-T.
But dammit, I’m choosing to believe it right now, because after more than a month and a half of being in the shit, if I can’t at least have faith that it will lead to good things, what the hell is the point?
* If you’re wondering where Shmorianism comes from, it’s a reference to my Twitter handle: victoriashmoria.
Today’s comment zen:
I’m sharing this in the spirit of transparency. To show that starting a business is not all rainbows and unicorns, but also that it’s possible to approach the difficulties mindfully, with compassion and curiosity.
I’d love to hear if you can relate. But once again, commenting with advice will earn you a kick in the shins. This is an advice-free zone.
The minute we got on the phone together, Victoria calmed me down. She had a way of clearing away the junk so I didn’t keep getting worked up into a panic. I came away from our sessions with a clear path to what I wanted to create. Instead of avoidance and procrastination, I had an action plan.
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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I know where you’re coming from Victoria.
I backed off from looking for clients for a month or so because I was busy and I had other plans with How To Be Rich and Happy. Then last week I realized I was looking quiet for the next couple of weeks. Whoops!
My urgency has now kicked back in too. I should have known better. Working in sales the cardinal sin is not to be constantly filling your pipeline, even when you’re busy. Seems I could have done with taking my own advice and not being so blase.
2 years ago there were 3 Life Coaches under the Google search map thingy. As of now there are 11 and I have disappeared off the front page because I’m on the outskirts of Orlando.
Nothing about this job is easy, but it CAN be done. Personally I think a lot of training companies are guilty of misleading people into thinking coaching is just a matter of turning up.
Tim Brownson´s last blog ..You’re A Sales Person
Twitter: pearlmattenson
March 16, 2010 at 2:11 pm
talk about a perspective shift. This law is a big one AND I love it. And just because you called it a law my self sabotaging gremlins are actually paying attention, “What? A law? We had better get on that one!”
I going wtih it Victoria! Thanks,
Twitter: kimmwood
March 16, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Totally hearing you, Victoria.
And a big yay for declarations! And for this one in particular!
The First Law of Shmorianism is true. No doubt. I believe. :D
Kim Wood´s last blog ..Living deliberately – business edition
Twitter: shannonmw
March 16, 2010 at 3:19 pm
Long live Shmorianism!
I love the First Law. Can the second law be let us eat chocolate and drink chai?
Mostly it’s true that starting a business (and keeping it going) is not all rainbows and unicorns. Thanks for your continued transparency and willingness to talk about the hard stuff.
xo
Twitter: CatherineCaine
March 16, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Thanks for sharing this Victoria. You WILL tell us when you prove the First Law so we can be encouraged, right?
Catherine Caine´s last blog ..Website heresy: We’re not all the same
Twitter: blondechicken
March 16, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Oh, hallelujah yes.
This HAS to be true.
Because, yeah, I’m sick of the suck!
Tara´s last blog ..Baking = Writing
Twitter: elizabethhalt
March 16, 2010 at 6:32 pm
Yes! I agree. This has to be true. In life as well as in business. (Please, she says.)
And I’ll second @Shannon’s suggested second law.
elizabeth´s last blog ..atlas has a birth day!
Twitter: sparkyfirepants
March 16, 2010 at 8:14 pm
I spent most of 2008 wondering how long I could last before I would have to find a job.
Or was it 2009? Wait. No.
It was Monday.
But only from 8:00 to noon. Then it became okay again. Then there was that panic attack at 5:43.
Jenni and I both go through bouts of “Holy crap, is that the interest on the Visa?” and start rethinking our plans for world domination. I know you don’t want advice, but our solution is sharing a whole package of cookies. It doesn’t help the business at all, but the shared experience of mindless gluttony makes everything else we’re doing look really smart.
Twitter: alightheart
March 16, 2010 at 8:35 pm
Dude.
I relate.
Again.
*grins*
Andrew Lightheart´s last blog ..How to present like Ken Robinson
Twitter: MarkHeartofBiz
March 16, 2010 at 10:27 pm
And, even once you start making money, there’s start hard stuff. And it does help your business continue to grow and develop. And the hard stuff is still hard.
I think if I can just get over myself and just *look forward* to the hard stuff, there is actually a great deal of grace and love in those times. I just have to keep surrendering.
I remember one of my biggest learnings about relationship: that happiness isn’t the point of being in relationship, it’s the by-product. Being in relationship is about deepening intimacy and getting support in dissolving separation and witnessing Oneness through each other. Sometimes there’s happiness. Sometimes there isn’t. And both contain blessings, love and an amazing profound sense of connection.
Same with business. Okay, enough deep thoughts. David- can you pass that package of cookies? Finished it *again*! I gotta get my own…
Mark Silver´s last blog ..No Article Today–A Workbook, Audio and Interviews Instead
Twitter: SunflowerLeila
March 17, 2010 at 2:52 am
Huge thanks for not tidying away the reality of doing your thing when it hurts and for sharing your practise of noticing and finding comfort and witnessing what’s there – no matter how grim or unexpected!
Loving the idea of Shmorianism Laws which are a bit bendy too.
I certainly appreciate the honesty about this journey – lots and lots and lots!
Leila x
Leila´s last blog ..The key to happiness without having it all!
Twitter: MarkWSchumann
March 17, 2010 at 9:28 am
Funny, I bought just one cookie at Lucky’s this morning. Because of the gluttony thing, and because I didn’t have anyone to share it with anyway. And I’m munching away at it while reading this post.
Anyway, I know the feeling Victoria. Do you need anything from us besides the witnessing?
Mark W. “Extra Crispy” Schumann´s last blog ..Do what you gotta do. When you gotta do it. And not a moment sooner.
Twitter: SunflowerLeila
March 17, 2010 at 9:45 am
Oooo I wanna cookie! Must pop out and ‘reward’ myself with said short term but much, much enjoyed comfort food tooo!
Leila´s last blog ..The key to happiness without having it all!
Twitter: victoriashmoria
March 17, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Thanks so much, everybody, for celebrating the First Law with me! ;-)
@Shannon – ooh yes – 2nd law is that we get unlimited chocolate and chai.
@Mr. Pants – Panicpants! That made me laugh. And I will definitely try your method of eating a package of cookies. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone!
@Mark Silver – Wow – those are deep thoughts. I can definitely see where a good portion of what I’m going through right now is from fighting against my own misplaced expectations. I think I’m going to have print up “It’s about connecting to wholeness!” and tape it to my wall. But I’ll be stomping my feet while I do it.
@Mark Extra Crispy – So sweet of you to ask that question. Just the witnessing is good for now. Thank you. :)
Twitter: moonslark
March 20, 2010 at 9:37 am
I think it is GOOD to know that there are sometimes doubts or things that don’t go immediately as planned.
I am still in a place where i am working for someone else, doing something that doesn’t speak to me, because 1) as a single mom I need to provide NOW for 2 kids and 2) I have not yet figured out what my “Passion” is or how to leverage it to get out of the hell of not working for my heart. I appreciate hearing the good AND the bad, so I will have my eyes WIDE open when I leap, but also so I can look out and support where it is needed, when I can.
pam´s last blog ..Spring Check In: I Want to change my RELATIONSHIPS for the better
Twitter: pursueurnewpath
March 22, 2010 at 8:55 am
Victoria,
even if you wanted advice, I could not give you any, as I am in the exact same boat you are.
Thank you for writing, as I now know I am not the only one out there wrestling with the Urgency.
Bless you.
Cathy
Twitter: gloreebe88
March 23, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Yes. I can relate. :) Had to physically force myself to stop talking when I got to the “..but” when answering the question, ‘how is my business going?” Took me a long while. Thought I was just trying to be honest, but I could feel myself painting me smaller every time I let those words fly.
That was *not* advice by the way. I will, however, concur with Mr Pants. Eating lots of cookies can’t hurt.
Gina´s last blog ..Mother and Child Reunion
Twitter: NathLussier
March 26, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Wahh… how about if I made everyone some raw cookies? Maybe less guiltified gluttony might help us all along this hard journey? Eh?
Thanks Victoria for posting this. I feel the urgent too… it’s always there gnawing at the back of my mind. More, faster, more, better. Hmm. I guess we’re only human after all?
Twitter: SquarePegKaren
April 5, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Love the First Law of Shmorianism AND the transparency – thanks!!
Square-Peg Karen´s last blog ..Technology Rock Suck