Dear Fears

Dear Fears,

Hello. Yes, I see you. Lots of you here again.

Let me get my Romper Room mirror. Hi, Fear of Being Googled, and Fear of Having Nothing to Say. Oh, and back there I see Fear of Saying the Wrong Thing and Fear of Looking Like a Dork.

And is that Fear of What People Will Think? Why, yes, it is.

We need to talk.

After Havi’s Screw Therapy Start Blogging course, I’ve learned a couple of things. For one, I’m not the only one you guys are hanging around, leaving me with mixed feelings of relief and disappointment to learn that I’m not your special friend.

But more importantly, I’ve been putting this off for, like, THREE YEARS, and apparently I’m just going to have to work around you, because damned if I am going to let another three years – or even three months – go by without STARTING.

No practice posts, no learning CSS and PHP first so that I can design my own blog from scratch, no figuring out a clever URL or tagline to use before I write a post.

For once I’ve got to do the thing I’m afraid to do so that I can stop regretting not doing it.

Stay if you must, but I will still blog.


25 thoughts on “Dear Fears

  1. Havi Brooks (and duck)

    I have to say that this is the best First Post I’ve ever read.

    And keep in mind that people are *constantly* starting blogs and then telling me about them because of, you know, the fact that I keep yelling at them to do it. So I read a LOT of first posts.

    And this one is genius.

    Completely inspiring. I’m so going to make this required reading for the next blogging therapy course.

    P.S. Hey, Victoria’s Fears! It’s Havi (and Selma the duck). We just want you to know that while you’re totally allowed to have your say, we’re still pretty impressed that Victoria is engaging you in conversation and setting out to do what she really needs to do.

    We’ll do what we can to help her feel safe and supported and loved — now it’s your turn to give her a chance!

    1. Victoria

      Havi!!! Thank you so much for leaving my first ever comment on my first ever blog post.

      And thank you most of all for yelling at me to do this in such a way that I was able to go through with it.

      Big big hug to you and Selma!

  2. Melanie Baker

    Really, once one has had Havi comment on one’s blog, it can’t really get any better… However, congratulations on your new blog!

    And yeah, between The Fears and the potential for endless technical learning and fiddling, one could be “getting ready” to blog forever and never actually get around to writing a word. Screw it. Write. Go you, you brave soul. :)

    The Fears will go away over time. Honest. And you probably will get googled or whatever. It’s weird, but it won’t be as bad as you think. And the cool people you’ll meet and the awesome conversations you’ll have and the reliefs you’ll get off your chest FAR outweigh the weirdness.

    Plus, hey, how many people have the brilliant idea to put their fears to work as blog fodder, and you thought of it with your first post. Can’t wait to see where you go from here. :)

  3. Annie Blue

    Victoria you are so brave! I agree with Havi, this is the best first blog post I’ve ever read. And, unlike most of us, you’ll probably look back on this in a year and be proud of it, because it’s wonderful. Also I have to say again that you chose a great theme.

    And “Stay if you must, but I will still blog.” has to be the best blogging motto ever.

  4. Grace

    I second Havi’s … oh, wait, sorry. Okay, I *third* Havi’s and Selma’s opinions.

    Concise, clear, compassionate (can I come up with any more “c” words?).

    Oh, yes, of course I can!


  5. Hiro Boga

    Dear Victoria (and Assorted Fears),

    Hooray and hooray for getting started! And with such a wonderful, brave and tender blog post. Yaay for making room for your fears. And yaay for being big enough to do the hard thing anyway.

    Looking forward to lots more from you.

    Love and hugs,


    1. Victoria

      Thanks for such kind comments.

      Melanie Baker – Ah yes, the fiddling. With my technical background it was really hard to just ignore that long enough to get started.

      Annie Blue – Thank you for your support in getting this off the ground – so glad you were in @havi’s class!

      Grace – So great to “meet” you – thanks for reading!!

      1. Victoria

        Susan – Welcome and I *am* having loads of fun!

        Sundi – Flattery gets you far around here! Thanks for the fabulous compliments. Perhaps “family” might be a better description of those pesky fears than “friends”. (You know, because you are stuck with your family, like them or not.) LOL

        Sarah – Eek! Don’t get me started on the M-word. I am right there with you, Sister! Also, I LOVE that you said I have balls. That’s awesome.

        Avital – Thank you for such an encouraging comment. More posts are on the way!

  6. Jennie

    Hi Victoria. I found you through Havi. Welcome to blogging and developing your online persona. Thank you for expressing what so many people (me too) feel about “putting themselves out there.” It is a risk! And with risk comes reward. Thanks for sharing!

  7. Brenda Pinnick

    Congratulations on a magnificent first post! Your eloquence nailed the same thoughts and fears many of us struggle with but never admit! Walking the line between self-editing and delivering interesting content is a difficult one, we all slip up in one direction or another from time to time…
    be kind to yourself and remember we’re all human.

    1. Victoria

      Hiro – Thank you so much for reading. It was so wonderful to work with you. I’m looking forward to reading more from you, as well! ;-)

      Jennie – Welcome and thanks for the encouragement!

      Brenda – Thanks for your great comment. Self-editing really is such a hard thing to tame, but there is something (unexpectedly) freeing about laying it out for all to see.

  8. Sundi D. Hayes

    Fluffy feathers! Victoria rocks even with her group of…umm, friends? Yes, friends. If they don’t want to be your friends that is fine (Meanies!). What matters is what you want to call them! When was the last time we were scared by a friend in a serious threatening way? Introduce us to your friends and yourself Victoria…I can’t wait.

    Oh, for the record, you picked a great background without all those silly languages…because your taste must just be great like that.

    As a side note, I LOVE your name. It was one I had picked out if we ever managed to have a girl and we were going to “Tori” her for short. Well, it never happened because I have three great boys instead. *sigh*

    Create an amazing day!

  9. Sarah Lacy

    Beautifully written. :)

    Completely understand where you’re coming from (for me, we can replace “blog” with “marketing”) and it’s all so scary, and there’s a big line up of fears out the door, and its so overwhelming to even start addressing them.

    Congratulations on just doing it anyways! You’ve got balls :)
    You’ve even inspired me to go do some things that I just keep putting off!

    (Havi directed me here by the way – she has great taste in blogs!)

  10. Avital

    Hey Victoria,

    Your post really is super inspiring. You’ve conveyed your message of going on despite the never-ending fears and perfectionism super clearly.

    Good luck. I’d love to read more posts from you.

  11. Cristina Favreau

    I bet your fingers were trembling as you clicked on the “Publish” button… but now it’s done and you’re still alive!! Congrats…

    What a truly beautiful post about your “humanness”!! I look forward to reading more!

  12. Crystal

    Wow! My thoughts exactly but put much more eloquently. I have no idea how long I have wanted to keep a blog. I have started, written some just to come back later, cringe and delete! Warm fuzzies your way for just trusting yourself and stepping off the ledge. I wrote a similar post this morning and it is sitting in my drafts. I believe I will follow your lead and click the “Publish” button.

    Thank you for your inspiration.

  13. Sherri

    What a great letter, Victoria! Last year at a women’s retreat a friend of mine wrote a letter to “Holding On”, I was so touched by it she made a copy of it for me and I revisit it often. Your post reminds me of the spirit of that letter. Best luck on your journey!

  14. Julie

    Yeah!!! Okay – I finally sent my link to some friends today after “hiding” my first, short post on my blog. After hearing you on the calls with Havi and actually seeing you do it – I jumped in too! Thanks for being brave and can’t wait to read more!!


    1. Victoria

      @Cristina – thanks for commenting! So good to see so many people from Havi’s class! Really inspiring.

  15. Diane Whiddon-Brown

    I concur with your other followers: best first post ever! And I just wrote mine, so I totally know how hard and scary it was, but you did great! I love “mixed feelings of relief and disappointment to learn that I’m not your special friend.” That’s awesome.

    Big congrats for doing this whole, crazy blogging thing. Looking forward to chatting with you… :)

  16. Molly

    Congratulations Victoria! Boy, did you show your fears a thing or two! I feel inspired by your first post :)

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