I spent most of my first 40-ish years living the life I thought I had to have, rather than the life I wanted.
I believed that meeting others’ expectations was how I would have good relationships and a happy family. I even believed that it was a requirement of being loved.
Except, doing so comes at the cost of having your own opinions, making your own choices, and doing the things that make you ridiculously happy. (And guess what? Meeting others’ expectations pretty much always comes with that high price tag. And doesn’t leave you feeling loved and supported.)
On top of draining myself by trying to pretend I “fit the mold,” I thought I was the problem. I was too emotional. Too demanding. Not trying hard enough. Too selfish.
I wound up miserable and depressed and I couldn’t understand why.
I had it all wrong.
There was nothing wrong with me.
I was never broken. (The same goes for you, too.)
Realizing that truth led to a sense of connection to myself and acceptance of who I am.
With time and practice, I was able to relearn what I wanted and what I enjoyed doing. Slowly I was able to become more myself. And that led to doing more of what I wanted to do.
That’s how you start building the life you want, and stop living the life you think you’re stuck with.
Do I have days were I feel shitty and treat myself badly? Of course.
But I’m so much kinder to myself than I used to be.
Here’s some of what I believe now:
We’re here on this earth to become fully who we are.
Not who our friends, families or bosses want us to be, but Who. We. Are.
By knowing ourselves deeply – our strengths, needs, values and wants – we can craft the life we want to live.
It takes a willingness to see all of who we are, and consider the possibility that we’re powerful and courageous enough to create what’s in our hearts to create.
The very short version of how I got here:
I spent a lot of years in IT, building databases.
In a great leap of faith, I signed up for life coach training, despite my fears that I’d hate it. Or be horrible at it.
As it turned out, I loved it (although what I do now is quite a bit different from how I was trained). And I’m damn good at it.
It took me a while to see, but what I was doing then is the same as what I’m doing now:
Talking with people who need clarity and solutions. Maybe that’s you.
Really hearing where you’re at right now. What’s not working. What you’d like to see change.
Leading you to your own inner wisdom by listening carefully and asking great questions.
And together finding and creating the perfect, simple solutions that fit you and your reality. Because what good is a solution if it requires you to ignore the way your life actually works?
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